I said No,

Whispered I didn’t want to,

But he did it anyway.

Illuminating my dull days,

With his bright darkness.

 

His hands were soft,

As he ran them secretly over my body-

Exploring the parts that I never knew.

But his touch so cruel.

For my struggling innocent soul.

 

It could have been anyone.

Anyone.

 

Like that stranger across the road

Who stares at me like a dog.

Stares and wait for the hands to spit the garbage

Out for their gates, for him to chew, the leftover bones.

For him to chew, the leftover bones.

 

Or the man who lights that cheap cigarette,

From day to night and night to dawn.

Knowing a vessel awaits at home;

Open, empty and hollow. His to fill,

His to complete and his to break.

 

I’m his to pump his seeds into

Whenever he’s sober enough to feel,

And move. Move like a dog

To breed more like him.

Or more like me for more like him.

 

It could have been him.

The one who sneaks into the brothel

Late at night. To buy my body

And demean my love.

I am his, at his leisure. For his pleasure.

 

I’m too cheap to bear during day time

Too expensive for night. Let’s bargain.

Let’s find my worth. He’s all knowing.

Two crumpled pieces of green papers.

Nothing less and nothing more.

 

It could have been him

Who knows how to own me.

How to claim me, how to tame me

Knows how to train me.

One back hand, right swept of belt

 

Or him who stands tall in the house,

Made by the price my father paid

To create me, to burden you

By my service, by my presence

And by me.

 

I would have worshiped your cold feet.

My head draped with my shame for your respect.

Would have lit the wicks of my duty

At the expense of my hope and dreams

Would have circulated the auspicious plate

 

Heavy with my dead head

And blank eyes staring right back at you.

For you to down turn your hand

And receive my life, passed on by deity

For your own selfish use.

 

It could have been anyone.

Anyone.

 

But it was him.

Him- In all his glory.

And it was me,

With my open heart,

And my closed eyes.

 

It was you.

You who should have saved me.

You should have protected me.

You who shouldn’t have touched me

Who shouldn’t have cheap loved me.

 

It was you.

 

It was you

And that’s what made it worse.

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