And sometimes you need to distance yourself, only to uphold yourself. You’d rather make them see you as ‘unavailable’ than vulnerable. You stand cold and tall; away from all emotions and feelings, because you need to. You lie to them and you lie to yourself. You want to be strong for yourself and for them, but you know that you are hanging onto sanity by the tip of your fragile little finger. You want to walk away only to give yourself a chance to fall down and break apart in private, but you can’t. You are needed here and you are needed strong. So let yourself get exploited by leaving yourself, distancing yourself from yourself and them. You are pretending and faking, but they are buying it, and so keep selling it. You keep up with the façade that seems so real from a far. And that’s how you need to keep it, far and away, lest they might see the cracks and the plaster that is ripping off, they might discover that how slightest of movement can make it crumble. Maybe you are too weak to show them how broken and needy you are or perhaps they are too weak to accept and bear what you might be ready to show.