Dear boy,

There are things I always wanted to tell you, but somehow I couldn’t. But right now, seems like just the right time to say it. Right now, when I am trying to understand love all over again, right now when I am trying to find the anchor that made love stay close to the shore of my life, Right now when I feel completely disillusioned and I blame Love for the hurt and betrayal that YOU gave.

So here it goes.

Do not try to kiss my lips while all your hands are doing is searching for are my breasts, go straight for it. Don’t make it look like a romantic novel that needs a prologue. If I am a fucking one-liner, then treat me like one. Don’t mislead me. Because when I love, I become naïve, so don’t make me feel bad about it, it’s a beautiful feeling to lose all your senses in love. I like being all trusting.

Don’t think that love is the only way to get things from me, don’t demean my love; Love is not a currency, it’s invaluable. Ask for what you want and I might give you, don’t snatch it under the pretense of something else. Don’t think that I can’t handle it rough; that I am too delicate for truth. Don’t take shelter under falsehood for my sake, Have enough balls to be honest if you have enough desires to juggle them.

Don’t you call me darling, my love, and baby when in truth, you see me as a bitch and do me by the door. Don’t make me believe you are here to save. Don’t promise me a lifetime if a good time is all you want. Don’t make me dream about dawns when the night is just as much as you can give. Don’t hide the conflict in your heart behind the lust in your eyes. The lust that you convince me is an extension of your love.

I guess you got the game wrong, you don’t have to play with my feeling to get some action in your crotch because I swear to god, that you can fuck me because I am ready but don’t you love me if you ain’t ready. Do not make promises you cannot keep I am strong enough to fuck and be fucked without them.

I may look delicate, but I am not weak. I promise, I can handle storms and thunders and tsunamis but I can’t handle those little termites. Cane me from the outside; don’t eat me from within. Arouse my body but don’t seduce my soul if you can’t satisfy it. If all you can do is tend to my body then don’t touch my soul because trust me, I can stand tall as you disrobe my body, but don’t you unravel my soul if a shallow dip is all you need and not the depths of the ocean.

I will come on my knees without you making me dream the same about you with a ring. I am all up for blowing without you blowing hopes in my dreamy head. I will do it and I will do it well. But let’s be honest. Treat me as you see me. So that when you leave my bed, I don’t end up making a replica of you with my tears. Leave the room with the echoes of my voice as I come for you on my command, and not with my wails that broke free when you broke my heart. Do not leave me with trust issues, I ain’t got enough tissues for it, but I have got enough to clean your cum off my stomach. So let’s limit it to that.

So that when you rush out of my door after getting what you want. I can change you like I do with the bed sheets. And I might as well put a piggy bank by the side lamp. So that instead of dropping that mask off your face that would feed on my innocence and love, you can drop some change that could feed my stomach. For you see I would rather be your whore, than your victim.

Yours never after

The girl you misled.


{ Photo credits: Yashasvi Patidar}
{Model: Asmita Gajbhiye}